“Whaddya want, Mary?”

“Whaddya want, Mary?” George Bailey asks his date. photo courtesy of Google Images

 

A few weeks ago, I watched the classic Christmas movie, It’s A Wonderful Life for the first time ever.

I’m so glad I finally watched it. I actually had tears in my eyes at the end.

If you’re unfamiliar with the story, the film tells about an average American guy, George Bailey, who grows up in small town, USA with hopes and dreams of traveling the world someday. But work, love, and family obligations somehow always get in the way, and by the end of the film, George finds himself so distraught with how his life turns out that he considers suicide.

The line “whaddya want, Mary?” is uttered by George at the beginning of the film when he first begins dating the woman who will eventually become his wife. They’re walking home from a dance and she’s staring up at the sky, so he volunteers to lasso the moon for her.

I’ve been thinking about the movie, and this line, a lot recently. Since 2016, I’ve made a lot of changes in my life all centered around finally getting what I want out of life.

Some things have really improved – I’ve been writing a lot more, I’ve had a few things published, and have a decent number of followers on my blog and social media. I’ve made some progress at my 8-5, I took up swimming, and started standing up for myself and eliminating certain unnecessary negativity from my life. I even swallowed my fear of flying and went to London!

But I’ve still got a long way to go. I want to get paid for my writing. I still have some things to resolve at my day job. I want to travel more extensively now, but I don’t have the pockets for it.

And despite the progress I’ve made, I can’t deny that there’s one thing I really haven’t made much progress on at all, and that’s finances.

I desperately need a new car. I want to attend a writer’s conference or two this year. I have plantar fasciitis and can’t wear cheap shoes. I want my tattoo fixed. I want to travel. But these things cost money, and the fact of the matter is that I need more of it.

So the other day I decided to swallow my pride and commit to working two nights a week at my second job instead of just one.

My second job isn’t all that bad – I clean two banks very close to my home, make decent money, and it only takes me 2-3 hours. I got the job through one of my husband’s friends, and he makes the job super easy and flexible.

I’ve decided that I’m going to spend the next 5-6 months working Tuesday and Thursday nights so I can double my extra income. I plan on saving much of the money to use for emergencies or big ticket items like writer’s conferences or those damn expensive shoes I apparently now have to wear. I also want to build up my savings account, which is depleted after our trip to London, some recent car repairs, and the holidays. I also want to have a nice cushion for when it finally comes time to purchase a new vehicle.

Sadly, this means I will have to say good-bye to the swimming pool for the time being. The facility’s hours are limited, and there’s no point in spending extra money paying for a membership when I’d only be able to use it once a week. This also means that I will have to become even more disciplined when it comes to my writing. I’m going to have fewer days during the week to write, so I’ll have to find a way to write for longer periods of time on the days when I’m not cleaning. I’m still really going to try to keep blogging weekly, but I may have to cut it down to bi-weekly if things get too hectic.

There are downsides to taking on an extra night’s work, but part of me feels empowered. I’ve realized that there are certain situations in my life that need improvement, and I’m going to do whatever I can to remedy it. I’m going to have to make some sacrifices, but it’s comforting to know that this is only temporary.  I also realize that while I love swimming and writing, cutting down on those things for now means that I’ll be able to accomplish some financial goals I’ve been chasing for a while — including ones associated with writing and being more active.

I’m hopeful my writing won’t suffer too much – I still have five days of the week to work on blogging, my novel, and other projects. Some of the money I’ll be making will most definitely be invested in things like conferences and contest entry fees. So I’m trying to think of this extra work as an investment.

I want so many things out of life. It’s difficult and sometimes painful to have to choose between dreams and desires and needs like food, a car, and bills. But I’m hoping that this decision for temporary change will allow me to get a few steps closer towards some bigger goals in the future.

Like the characters in It’s A Wonderful Life, I sometimes feel like I want so many things out of life that it can seem as daunting as lassoing the moon. And when I have to sacrifice writing time and swimming time to make extra money, I get scared that I’ll end up like George — overwhelmed by the logistics of life instead of enjoying the journey of life. But I have no intentions of giving up on my wildest dreams. They’re simply on a brief hold for now.